I've had a lot on my mind over these past few weeks. I've been working hard, trying to make sure I'm covering all of my "business" ventures but I keep feeling like I'm drowning. See, I have to purchase this and that (ie business license, etc.) but with what money? My clients keep canceling so obviously I'm doing something wrong, but what??? And now, I fear that two more clients are going to cancel because I haven't heard back from them for over a week concerning the contracts I sent. (And the contracts stated all the things we had covered and agreed upon.) So what am I missing? Personality? Small feet? I just don't know!
So now I keep having to face each day, working from my home, wishing I were around people. I keep contemplating getting a part time job but where? Reedley is not really full of fruitful businesses to work for a few hours a week. Volunteering? Definitely a possibility but again, the question of where?
I feel vulnerable, nervous, sick to my stomach when I think of the money that I so willingly borrowed and now owe back (plus interest). What's gonna happen? I just don't know.
Thankfully, the Lord ALWAYS provides. Right now I feel in a dark place and I feel alone but I keep having to remind myself that I'm not actually alone, someone is there with me while I roam around in this darkness. And light will be at the end of the tunnel and all of the unknowns will fall into place... always does.
So through this I praise God! I praise Him for these struggles, for the unknown, for the trials, for the lack of money and the need for it in order to accomplish all this business stuff, and I simply praise Him for creating me, loving me, dying for me, and allowing me to call Him Father.
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3 comments:
Hey Jen. Sorry things seems confusing right now...I hope they pick up soon. I am sure you have thought of this, but have you shared these concerns with Karey or someone like that who has done what you are trying to do? Maybe she can help with some of the questions you have. Her blog is www.kareymichelle.blogspot.com. I don't know if I am being helpful, but I will be praying for you also. Maybe you need a visit to Hume? Talk to you soon!
Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Câmera Digital, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://camera-fotografica-digital.blogspot.com. A hug.
aww... I'm sorry it's tough going. Anything I can do to help just let me know.
I'd love to chat with you a bit about the contracts and stuff and see if I can give any decent advice from where I was when I started.
We've been through a ton of months where we didn't think bills were going to get paid... but God always provides...
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